Axiom's 1 - 3AM

Title:                            Axiom's 100 - 3AM
Author:                         mcomommy
Game:                          Mass Effect
Characters:                   Axiom Shepard, Kaidan Alenko
Disclaimer:                   Mass Effect and all characters from it are owned by Bioware.
Content Warning:          Fluff


Profile:                        Axiom Shepard
Background:                Spacer/War Hero
Affiliation:                   Paragade
Class:                         Sentinel

---

Axiom's 100
1.  3AM


     Shepard frowned, rubbing a hand over her face wearily.  Another day gone by, another night waking up covered in a cold sweat, screams still echoing in her ears and the smell of burnt flesh in her nose.  

     Axiom took another sip of coffee and grimaced as the bitter taste hit her tongue.  Should have stopped at one extra scoop, she decided.  Not that the skeleton crew on night shift had been complaining, but they had surely noticed the increasing strength over the past few days.  The few people assigned to graveyard pretty much left her alone on these nightly incursions into the mess deck.  She was grateful for that.  The rest of the crew didn't need to know she'd been strung out on exhaustion and caffeine for the better part of two weeks now, the nightmares that pulled her from sleep becoming a nightly ritual since Eden Prime.

     Since being thrust into command.  Again.

     Since…Jenkins.

     Groaning, Axiom lay her head down on the cool surface of the table, memories from the dream surging unbidden through her mind.  

     It always started on Elysium.  

     Partygoers dancing and drinking at the beach side open air bars.  Shepard felt washed out, like a pale version of herself as she wandered through the crowd of Asari, Turians, and Humans.  Her eyes were drawn to the sky, a frigate slowing its decent to land having caught her eye.  Axiom frowned.  It was Batarian, if she had seen it correctly.  They weren't exactly…friendly.  

     Opening her mouth to warn those around her, Shepard found she couldn't speak.  Her mouth was moving, but nothing was coming out.  She tried to push at people, to get their attention, but her hands passed right through.  Gunfire sounded, a staccato beat underlying the pulsing music blaring around her.  Grimly, Axiom looked the direction the noise had come from.  Standing there, staring at her, a lanky creature blinked impassively.  Tentacles wriggled lazily as it regarded her, ignoring the fight that had made its way to them while the crowd was indiscriminately attacked.  The bar closest to her was obliterated in a flash of noise and splinters, shrapnel and smoke filling the air.  Shepard flinched, an arm landing at her feet.

     "You cannot save them."

     Her head jerked back around.  The creature was still looking at her, sympathy flickering over its features as it regarded her through the haze.  This was war, she thought.  Smoke and bodies, death and chaos.   Her breath caught in her throat, the smell of burning bodies reached her nose, making her want to vomit.  The sounds of fighting had moved away, and Shepard peered around, trying to pierce the miasma surrounding them.  

     "And you cannot save him."

     A swirl of smoke and Jenkins was trotting toward her, weapon at the ready as he crouched behind a rock and peaked around his cover.  

     Eden Prime.

     Shepard let out a scream, running toward the Corporal with her hand outstretched.  He ignored her, pushing forward, foolhardy as he rushed past the next outcropping and ran headlong into his death.  Axiom fell to her knees as the Geth drone cut him down.

     "I couldn't save them either."

     The creature lay a hand comfortingly on her shoulder as the smoke shifted, revealing a vast city, skyscrapers leveled, bodies twisted and charred in the wreckage.   A great red machine stalked along, red beams blasting through everything in its path when it fired its weapons.

     Saren's flagship.

     Axiom struggled to her feet, fists clenched at her sides as she shook with rage.  

     "They are coming," the creature said, cryptically.

     "Who," she furrowed her brows, turning slightly and looking at it out of the corner of her eye.  Its gaze turned skyward, and Shepard followed it, gasping as hundreds of the red ships filled the sky.  Images flashed through her mind accompanied by an ear piercing shriek ricocheting inside Axiom's skull, dropping her to her knees with a cry.

     Tentacle faced people screamed and died, machines twitched as the shrieking continued.  A star filled her mind's eye, then a planet, a solar system.  A Reaper was at the heart of it all.  Through it all the smell of burnt flesh and –

     "Commander?"

     Shepard jerked upright, frowning down at her coffee, irked that a crewmember had seen her in such a vulnerable state.  She scrubbed at her face, turning toward the source of that husky voice.  Her eyes widened slightly as they drank in Kaidan wearing socks, an undershirt, and a pair of PT shorts that stopped just above mid-thigh.  

     "Lieutenant," she said calmly, raising an eyebrow at him.  

     "I, uh…heh," Kaidan muttered.  He rubbed the back of his neck nervously.  "I, umm, just thought you had fallen asleep there.  Ma'am."

     "No such luck, Lieutenant," Axiom sighed, turning back to her coffee.  She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye.  "Is there a reason you're lurking around at…What time is it?"

     "Just after 0300, ma'am."

     "Ah.  Okay," Shepard shrugged, suddenly wishing she'd taken her coffee back to her quarters.  Her already overly tired, caffeine excited mind was jumping around, focusing on things it shouldn't be.  Like how Kaidan's undershirt fit snugly over his broad chest, sharply defining the muscles underneath.  Or how his shorts were revealing a pleasing amount of toned thigh.  

     What was she saying?

     She raised her eyebrows at Kaidan expectantly, sure that she had asked him a question in there somewhere.

     "I was just, uh, going to the head, ma'am," he gestured toward the lavatories.  

     Shepard picked up her mug, a half smile curling her lips up.  "By all means, Lieutenant, as you were."  She chuckled to herself and shook her head as Kaidan blushed and moved off.

     "Blaag," she grimaced at her coffee.  Maybe if she added sugar.  

     "Migraine," Kaidan asked, coming back from relieving himself.  

     Axiom shook her head.  "No.  I know you," she nodded his way as he took a seat across the table from her, "have the L2 migraines more than you'll admit," she smiled slightly as a sheepish look crossed his face, "but I'm an L3."  She shrugged.  "Guess I'm lucky.  All the power and control, none of the headaches."

     "But you're an exception among the L3's.  Most of them can't reach the power levels the L2 implant alowed.  As for the control, some would argue that's the product of talent and hard work," Kaidan countered.

     Shepard shrugged again, eyes wandering across her Lieutenant's biceps as he leaned forward putting his elbows on the table.  She swallowed, rubbing her palms up and down her thighs.

     "So, uh, why are you up and about at this hour," he cleared his throat, "ma'am?"

     Shepard allowed herself to snort at the absurdness of it all.  A grown woman afraid of her own nightmares.  She was about as rationally irrational as you could get.

     "You've heard that saying," she said, glancing up from her cup to the man across the table, "no rest for the wicked."  She gave her best impression of an impish grin.

     Kaidan narrowed his eyes at Axiom.  "Don't bullshit me, Shepard.  Something's been bothering you.  I'd like to think you trust me enough to have your back, no matter what."

     Axiom sighed, running her fingers through her hair.  He was right, of course.  Kaidan was part of her ground crew, and a fellow Alliance officer.  She needed to trust her team to watch her back, and they needed to trust her to watch theirs or they would all end up dead.

     She spoke hesitantly, fingers fiddling with her mug.  "It's…nightmares."

     Kaidan nodded, looking guilty.  "From the beacon."

     "Yes, and at the same time no.  Not just the beacon.  Everything," she threw her arms up, indicating everything around them.  "The beacon, Jenkins," she bit her lip.  "Even Elysium," she finished softly.

     Kaidan eyed her, surprise registering on his face.  "You dream about the Blitz?"

     Shepard grimaced.  "Yeah.  Not exactly what I would call my finest hour."

     "You saved a lot of people that day, Shepard," Kaidan refuted, surprised to see this glimpse of the woman behind the soldier.  "You're a hero because of it."

     "To many people died that day before I got my shit together," Axiom said, her mouth forming a grim line.  "Just like Jenkins.  I should've known better than to let a rookie take lead."

     "I was there, too, Commander.  There was nothing you could've done," Kaidan reached out, daring to place his hand comfortingly over Shepard's clenched fist.  

     Axiom sighed, closing her eyes and reveling in the feel of Kaidan's warm skin against hers.  What was she doing?  Stupid sleep-starved, caffeine-flooded mind.  Shepard twitched, jerking her hand out from under Kaidan's.  He looked sheepish, pulling his hands back and dropping them under the table into his lap.  

     "I, umm, I apologize, Commander,"  Kaidan looked down at his hands fiddling under the table.  "I shouldn't have done that."

     Shepard grimaced.  "No, I'm sorry, Kaidan.  I guess I'm just a little strung out on extra dark," she gave a shaky laugh, swirling what was left of the bitter liquid in her mug.  "Maybe I should ask Anderson to relieve me of command," she mused aloud, offering a wry smile at the shocked look on her Lieutenant's face.  "If this keeps up, the crew will declare me unfit for duty anyway."

     "If you believe that, then you really are crazy," Kaidan's voice held a hint of anger as he narrowed his eyes at her.  "We believe in you, ma'am.  Every one of us.  Sure it sucked, seeing Anderson black-balled like that, but the crew…I'm behind you, 100%.  We know it's gonna be rough, and that we're gonna be between a rock and a hard place most of the time, but we're with you," he nodded emphatically, "all the way, Commander."

     Axiom blinked at him in surprise.  She couldn't remember the last time someone had told her off.  How very un-Commanderly of her.  

     "Well, then, Lieutenant.  I suppose I should get my shit together," she gave him a smile, moving over to dump her coffee down the sink.  She paused at the corner before heading to her quarters.  "Thanks," she glanced over her shoulder at Kaidan.  "Sometimes I get so focused on my mistakes that I forget that people need me, now."  

     She was almost to her door when Shepard heard Kaidan call to her.

     "It was my pleasure, ma'am.  Just try to remember, whatever burdens you carry may be yours to bear, but you don't have to suffer them alone.  The crew…I'm here.  With an ear," he shrugged, "or a shoulder.  Whenever you need it."

     Axiom smiled back at him.  "I'll keep that in mind, Alenko."  His mouth twitched at the corners slightly, a ghost of a smile that she would've thought she imagined if she hadn't been looking for it.  

     Shepard ducked her head and escaped into her quarters.